The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with the breakfast cereals for children.
But, Fuming Fuji, you ask, aren’t some breakfast cereals healthy?
The Fuming Fuji says no!
The claim: Breakfast cereals are enriched with 9, or 11, or 13 vitamins and minerals.
The catch: Breakfast cereals are enriched with 9, or 11, or 13 vitamins and minerals that are not biologically active and also wash off in milk, plus 9, 11, or 13 chemicals, additives, preservatives, dyes and artificial ingredients.
The comeback: Can’t you just drink the milk? And besides, lots of cereals are made with whole-grain now. Come on, Fuji!
The conclusion: Okay, you can drink the milk. It is a great way to get your daily serving of hormones, antibiotics and germs. Yes, cereals are sometimes made with whole-grain now. These same cereals are also made with sugar, sugar, and sugar. The whole grain has not replaced the sugar, only added to it!
The catchphrase: Now made with whole grain…and still a lot of other crap!
Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji.
Here at MDA, we define “premium” as something peerless. Without equal. Really, really good for you – the absolute best. We believe in living life that way.
Evidently, McDonald’s defines premium as peerless and without equal, too. As in, a really, really good way to get that nifty obesity look everyone’s working these days.
Although no scientists were permanently harmed in the deliberation of today’s Impossible Calorie Award, a few of them did need to be sent on vacation.
McDonald’s “premium” chicken strips are 100% white meat. Fabulous. This “premium” product comes packed with 1270 calories in the bigger size (and who would order only 3 strips?). Visit this clickativity and be premiumed like you’ve never been premiumed before.
Remember the bread-is-to-crumb logic section on the SAT’s? Or how about the interminable hours spent in Mr. Johnson’s English Lit class deconstructing the deeper meaning of that tree in that poem by that guy? The latest and greatest fish debate is worse.
Environmentalists, food lobbyists, and fishermen and women everywhere are in a big huff over whether we should label certain fish as organic or not.
Take a wild salmon and a farm-raised, sea-lice-infested, sick salmon. Which one is organic?
It’s not a trick question. The fish furor (as reported in the New York Times today) is because the government is likely to permit only farm-raised fish to be called organic. That means pristine, wild, icy-water Alaskan salmon cannot be labeled organic.
This is not a joke.
The reason wild, and ostensibly healthier, fish cannot be labeled organic is because we don’t know where their food comes from. And the official requirements of organic food include strict feeding rules. That’s great for a chicken, clucking around in a cage in Omaha. By all means, feed that darn chicken some organic seeds! But the day a wild, clean, natural Alaskan salmon cannot be labeled organic is the day I officially conclude our government employees did not sit through Mr. Johnson’s English Lit class.
The debate gets more complicated (as if we care). Evidently, because salmon are not vegetarian fish, said fish fishers cannot prove that the fish these salmon eat in their natural habitats are also organic. (It’s okay if you have to read that a few times.)
However, a farmed fish, infected with sea-lice, raised so quickly it doesn’t have adequate Omega-3 levels, and crowded in with other fish like, oh, I don’t know…sardines… can be labeled organic. Because we know where its food comes from.
On the other side of the net, one organic-fish-scandal expert says that to allow wild salmon organic status is just really disrespectful to the meaning of organic. Organic, by definition, means organic feed. In other words, we’re following the rules because those are the rules, rather than remembering that rules exist to serve our needs. If a rule doesn’t serve a need or reflect a situation accurately, it needs to be modified. End of story. No deeper meaning, no semantic salmon. Let’s remember the entire reason for starting this organic craze: the realization that we need to go back to natural, healthy foods.
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