In defense of the Twinkie (wait, haven’t we heard that one before?), the Important People at Hostess explain exasperatedly that trying to understand what the Twinkie is made of is just like trying to understand the entire universe. Look, this miniature sticky cake of chemicals is as mysterious and magical as the very cosmos in which we exist. Duh. Don’t you feel silly now?
Unfortunately, the Important People are not delusional in the slightest. Twinkies are made of dozens of chemicals and at least 5 different rocks, so in truth, these little loaves of limestone really kinda are the universe. It appears you can manufacture irony, and it requires only 39 ingredients. I feel the welling up of an existential crisis of the sort not experienced since I watched my landlord wear a Dolce & Gabbana jacket to fix the toilet. There are some things money can’t buy, but for everything else, there’s rent.
If you are a regular reader of Mark’s Daily Apple you are probably well aware of those funny looking Vibram FiveFingers by now. They’ve been mentioned in our barefoot running post, featured in a Top 10 Ultimate Fitness Gadgets post and showcased in Mark’s sprinting video. What can we say? We’re huge fans! The only thing FiveFingers hasn’t got is its own post. It is high time this performance footwear we love oh so much got the attention it well deserves, so here goes nothing.
With the right masseuse, massage is a healthy and luxurious treat for addressing everything from sore muscles to stress to minor injuries. Here are 10 great tips to get the most from your next (or perhaps very first) massage. Massage is also great for teenagers, particularly if they play sports. There are so many styles and ways to go about this natural therapy, there really is something for everyone, whether it’s deep-tissue massage to iron out exercise kinks or a relaxing Swedish session to soothe your frazzled nerves.
There’s always some new product anxious to help you part with your hard-earned cash. Some products are healthy or helpful, but some are downright dishonest scams. These three have become popular of late. Don’t fall for the hype!
Nonsensical and useless, the popularity of oil pulling persists. Through very particular “sieving” of an oil mixture in the mouth (think mouth rinse in slow motion), the oil supposedly draws toxins from the blood. If it were possible for oil to “pull” toxins out of the veins in the tongue, it would also be possible for oil to enter the bloodstream through your tongue. A molecule is a molecule. Toxins can’t “leak” out of your veins – if they could, you wouldn’t need to “pull” them out. Besides, even if toxins could “leak” from your veins, it would take far more than 15 or 20 minutes of “pulling” to cleanse your entire blood supply. Furthermore, fat-soluble toxins (the kind that would bind to oil) are not in the bloodstream. They are in your…fat cells! And on and on it goes. Read this terrific expose if you still think oil pulling is effective – it’s guaranteed to change your mind.
From the vault:
Fried hot dog fried in deep fried french fries on a stick (scroll down; hold breath)
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