What – Lardsicles Didn’t Have Enough Carbs?

Just when I think I’ve seen it all, along comes fried Coke. Earlier this year I saw a major Southern California “quick service” food chain promoting their deep-fried fries. That’s right – fries that are breaded and … fried.

I barely had time to recover from that one before fried soda burst onto the scene in several versions. There are fried Coke rings, in which the corn-syrup liquid is frozen, breaded in some variation of corn starch, and deep fried in (of course) corn oil.

The article linked below highlights what appear to be deep-fried Coke bonbons. Fortunately, they are drizzled with syrup and powdered sugar, thereby accelerating consumers from mere obesity, diabetes and heart disease to plain old death. I’m glad to see that science and the spirit of innovation are alive and well across our great land. Of that, we can be proud. Besides, next year, plans are in the works for a version that really keeps your health in mind:

“Next year’s fair-goers can look forward to fried Sprite or — for those watching their weight — fried diet Coke.”

Here’s the clickativity for the above quote and the story.

Technorati Tags: Coke, fried Coke, trans fat, deep fried food, corn

Posted By: Mark Sisson

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The Fuming Fuji Says No to Donuts

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with donuts.

But, Fuming Fuji, you ask, isn’t a donut now and then an OK treat – it’s better than a candy bar, right?

The Fuming Fuji says no!

The claim: Donuts are a delicious, homespun pastry made from mostly flour and good feelings, so they’re not as bad as candy.

The catch: Donuts are an empty, machine-made free-radical fest made from sugar and fat, so they are actually the worst food on the planet.

The comeback: But Fuming Fuji, they’re bread! How can they be so bad?

The conclusion: Donuts are a mixture of equal parts sugar (bleached) and fat (usually lard). Then, they are fried. In fat.

The catchphrase: If you eat donuts you are nuts.

Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji.

Technorati Tags: donuts, lard, trans fat, sugar, refined flour, junk food, snacks, unhealthy foods, worst foods

Posted By: Worker Bee

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Scientists Perplexed: Issue ‘Impossible Calorie’ Award

Far be it from us to know how this is possible. Even scientists are scratching their heads like lice on mice. This time, it’s good old BK bringing you an impossibly-high-calorie meal. It would be funny, except it’s real. Tell them to knock it off! They’ll listen.

This is the “meatnormous” morning catastrophe BK is calling their Enormous Omelet Sandwich. Weighing in at 730 calories without sauce or sides, you’ll get 6 strips of bacon, two eggs, two slices of “cheese”, a giant refined bun, and a sausage patty the size of an ottoman. Comes complete with 410 calories of fat and enough sodium to keep the Titanic afloat.

Technorati Tags: fast food, breakfast, Enormous Omelet Sandwich, Burger King, high calorie meals, bacon, sausage, egg, carbs

Posted By: Mark Sisson

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Stretching, Defined

The Quote of the Day, from Pizza Hut’s website:

“Pizza can be a part of a well-balanced meal. Ingredients in our pizzas include protein, complex carbohydrates, Vitamin A and calcium. And, depending on the toppings you choose, our pizzas have items from all of the four major food groups – meat, dairy products, fruits and vegetables, and grains!”

And for dessert, have some Pop Tarts, because they’re fortified with iron and niacin!

Even better, have a slice of their cockroach-topped pizza for an extra protein boost:

Feeling some clickativity?

Technorati Tags: Pizza Hut, Pop Tarts, well-balanced meal, fast food, food groups, quote of the day, cockroach pizza, bugs in food

Posted By: Mark Sisson

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Sisson Says: Don’t “Loaf” Around

CARB CONCERNS

Apples are asking what I think about bread. The short answer: not very much. But this is an ongoing issue worthy of some debate, so let’s get it started:

In general, the best source of carbohydrates is a vegetable, not a grain (unless you are an athlete, in which case, you’re probably just trying to consume as many calories as possible).

Among other things, grains contain lectins, a mild toxin (is there such a thing as a mild toxin?). Technically, grains don’t “want” to be your next meal. They didn’t really evolve to be our food source – we humans exploited them when we figured out how easy they were to grow. Consequently, they’re in everything – especially processed foods – because they’re cheap and can be made into just about anything, from sauces to syrups to candies to side dishes.

The occasional slice of whole-grain-only toast (especially those sprouted-grain types that aren’t really flour at all) is fine. And a little pasta – if it’s loaded with veggies and tomato sauce and lean protein – is okay, too. But most Americans get way too many calories from bread and other carbs, especially the refined kind.

It’s not for nothing that our ancestors ate only flesh (meat and fish), nuts, roots, fruits and berries, and grabbed at wild greens for fiber. In fact, there’s a whole dietary movement – sometimes called the Caveman diet, sometimes the Paleo diet – we cautiously subscribe to (I’m uncomfortable with extreme diets, though I also am uncomfortable with how we define “extreme”!) Why? Grains are a relatively new thing for humans, and the evidence increasingly points to the notion that this isn’t a good development. If you’re into learning more, check out our Carbs category.

I recommend that you stick to just one or two servings of grains a day. A reader asked what kinds of carbs I eat. For breakfast, I sometimes eat a slice of sprouted-grain toast with organic nut spread (like almond butter). A few times a week, I enjoy brown rice or whole-grain pasta with my dinner vegetable plate. I favor squashes and legumes over grains. But on the whole, I stick to vegetables and protein – I just don’t really “do” carbs. Vegetables have far more vitamins, fiber and minerals than grain-sourced carbohydrates, and they are much lower in calories, giving you room for protein and vital fat. Vegetables also keep your blood sugar levels at a healthy, low level, so you don’t start pumping your pancreas to death.

Scientists point out that the human body was designed to subsist on a mixture of fresh vegetables, good fats (from nuts, fish, oils, and meats), and protein (from fresh meats, beans, a little dairy, and fish). Add in plenty of water, occasional fruit, and you’re set. On the whole, avoid the processed, unnatural, refined, sugary stuff. Try it for just one week and you’ll notice a big difference – really.

Technorati Tags: caveman diet, paleolithic diet, paleo diet, no-grain diet, sugar, blood sugar, grains, fiber, paleodan, anthropology

Posted By: Mark Sisson

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