You may have heard by now. Mallie’s  Sports Bar and Grill in Southgate, MI has created (built? constructed? engineered?) a burger that weighs in at 134 lbs, setting a new Guinness record. Congratulations, Mallie’s. You have done your part in giving foreigners the world over ample evidence to believe the notion that American’s are just a bunch of obese gluttons.
Give them $350 and a 24 hour heads-up and you too can be a proud owner of a hamburger the size of Rhode Island.
I’d make some snarky remark about how every major news organization in the Western hemisphere (and then some) has covered this story even though there are many more important things they could be reporting except for the fact that, well, we are sort of covering this story.
Instead, let’s just appreciate the fact that the only reason this is being talked about at all is because it is completely absurd.
Get it, Grandma!!!
Tune in later today for a full day’s worth of meal suggestions. (Ginormous hamburgers didn’t make the cut.)