Are You Living an Active or Passive Life?
Humans enjoy being entertained. We like watching funny, engrossing, exciting shows, movies, and plays. We love good tunes. And we enjoy watching a great stand-up comedian at work, the kind that makes your abs sore from laughter. But why? Well, it boils down to our need for sensation. Simply put, we need to laugh, cry, tense up from excitement, experience emotional highs and lows, and we enjoy the activation of our adrenal systems – whether it’s due to something happening to us in real life or to an imaginary character on a screen somewhere – because we have the equipment necessary to experience all those things, and we need to use it. Feeling sensations, emotions, excitement, then, is a prerequisite for being a healthy, happy human. An ancestral expectation.
This makes sense when you think about it. Everything that we had to do to survive, like hunting, fighting, exploring, and climbing to tall places, naturally elicited powerful sensations. And if we were going to continue to perform those actions and survive long enough to reproduce, the sensations had to be rewarding on some level. The flush of adrenaline that came with killing an antelope had to be enjoyable, or else we’d be less likely to kill again. Even simple socializing, while not necessarily thrilling or exciting, is highly entertaining because it reinforced an activity that allowed us to exchange ideas, solidify relationships, and learn new things, tips, and tricks. You want to know where the tastiest berries are? You gotta talk to someone to find out.
But look at the passive voice we use when we talk about entertainment nowadays. We are entertained, we like being entertained; we do not entertain ourselves or do exciting, hilarious things that also entertain us. We are largely passive participants in entertainment, while “entertainers” are an elite, select group of professionals who make good money entertaining us, and “entertainment” has come to signify the various mediums through which we consume entertainment – TV, Internet, video games, etc. Entertainment is very much about things being done to and for us, while we lay back and take it all in.
The numbers are pretty staggering. In an average American household, the TV is on for 6 hours and 47 minutes each day. 66% of Americans regularly watch TV while eating dinner. The average American kid watches 1,500 hours of TV a year, and over half of 4-6 year olds polled preferred watching TV to “spending time with their father.” But the television has been around for decades, and it’s always been popular. In fact, research suggests that people watched almost as much TV back then as they do today (PDF). I watched plenty as a kid, but I still managed to get out into trouble, run around, play, and experience life in between episodes of Bonanza and the Andy Griffith Show, so what explains today? Well, these days 93% of teens and adults aged 12-29 also go online daily, with more than a third using it several times a day. When you factor in mobile and smart phone usage, every waking hour is consumed by electronic entertainment, the vast majority of it passive. For a people mired in media, there’s simply no time left for active entertainment.
What did people do before television? Before the Internet? How did people keep themselves entertained during those occasional five second periods of inactivity without a smartphone to pull out? How did people occupy their time when they weren’t working, going to school, or procuring food? In other words, how did people back then keep themselves entertained without the wealth of media options available to us now? Did leisure time consist of staring at walls, the ground, and/or the ceiling, or if you were lucky and weather permitted, shapes in the clouds?
10,000+ years ago, folks had nought but their own imagination, their community, and the wild world around them. When they weren’t procuring food, shelter, or safety (activities that were often exciting and engrossing in their own right), Grok and co. could play games with and talk to each other, explore the environment, tell and listen to stories, play games, and practice hunting skills. I’m probably missing a few activities (and there’s no way to know for sure what specifically went down, unless perhaps we unearth a paleolithic version of Twister somewhere), but we know what they did not do. They did not lock the door, shut the blinds, plop down on the couch, and watch TV for half the day. They did not go to the movies. They did not surf the web late into the night. The closest thing to passive consumption of entertainment was listening to someone tell stories, but even that was a participatory act, since the listener was in the same room, probably knew the person telling it, and would respond and react in real time to their words. Oh, and there were no commercials. Basically, if Grok wanted entertainment, he had to go out and do things to make it happen. And if he wanted to be entertained, say by a storyteller, he had to go directly to the source. There were no other options.
When you take everything into account, it’s difficult to lay too much blame on folks today. Most of us grew up in a world where entertainment and sensation came prepackaged and easily deliverable, and that’s hard to get around. After all, humans love the easy route. Heck, animals in general prefer the easy route, because easy routes are few and far between in the wild. So when you see one, you take it! Ten thousand years ago, the only way to feel anything was to go out and actually experience it. Today, it’s easier to watch other people’s experiences on a screen, and it’s sometimes more effective, especially when they’re enhanced by sex, violence, explosions, special effects, audio, and teams of writers/actors/directors working to make the experience that much more intense. And remember – feeling those powerful sensations is not optional. We crave and need them to function well, so the path of least resistance and most abundance will also be the path most traveled. I think we’re just too far removed from real experience, from having to engage with the world. To counteract that, we have to consciously decide to turn away from the easy route, to go out and do things differently, and that’s hard to do for an animal wired to take the path of least resistance.
But we gotta do it.
So here’s my challenge for the day: be engaged with the world and those who populate it. Get off the computer and off the couch. Find/do/explore/feel the real thing. How you do so is up to you, but I have a few suggestions.
- Watch TV, sure, but watch it selectively. Set the shows you truly care about to tape and keep the TV off otherwise. And try to stick to shows that make you think. More Dexter, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, and Ken Burns docs; less reality TV and Two and a Half Men. Don’t just have the TV on because you’re home.
- Use Facebook, but use it to facilitate real world, face-to-face interaction. Make an event and invite people to it. Catch up with an old friend and meet up at a coffee shop.
- When you read blogs, participate in the comment section. Don’t just consume; produce, interact, discuss!
- Watch a movie at the cinema, or better yet, go to a comedy show or watch a show at the theater. Afterward, talk about what you just watched over coffee or drinks.
- Join an adult sports league, or organize something with your social circle. You could even just head down to the local park for a pickup game.
- Instead of playing video games, have friends over for a board game night, or maybe poker night. And if you’re going to play video games, try multiplayer games.
- Read fiction. It’s passive, but you have to actively process the words and imagine the world the author creates.
- Look for a paleo Meetup group near you, join it, and start attending functions. If your new Meetup group is staid, start suggesting meetups yourself! Don’t wait for others to do it.
- Instead of buying all your meat all the time, try hunting. Instead of buying all your produce, try gardening. If you don’t have the option for either, go to farmer’s markets, where you can look the person who grew your food directly in the eye as you exchange money for goods and actually get to know them.
- Get a dog (and feed it an ancestral diet). It’ll get you outside and teach you to be more present and aware of the moment.
- Make a point to say “hello” to passers-by. Even a smile and nod will usually work, and it’s not a big commitment. It’s just a quick connection, a mutual acknowledgement of another human being. No “stop-and-chat” required.
- Stop using porn. Have real sex instead.
If you’re complaining that this is all too hard, that everyone else you know lives on Facebook and only text messages, change that. Invite them out. Think about how much you wish you could have more real experiences and realize that everyone else probably feels the same way. Like you, they’re just waiting for someone to take charge. Be that person who takes charge.
With all that said, I have to ask: how are you going to be engaged with the world? How do you plan on living an active, versus passive, life?
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Posted By: Mark Sisson
I am actually pretty “active” compared to “passive” the tv is not turned on until my husband gets home we usually watch about two hours of tv before going to bed I also dont have cable I have netflix- I like to visit the art galleries in Savannah and venture out to see new sights. I could probably do more to be more active in the world since a good chunk of my time is spent creating art digitally or traditionally ( I am always entertaining myself though especially when I begin writing a story) I do the following: knit, crochet, paper crafts, and herbal sachets, jewelry making, and anything that sounds interesting to try especially if it is recycling or reusing…. I will admit I do tend to facebook a lot- but hey army wife here I have peeps I keep in touch with and fb just happens to be the medium- I do give myself a time limit on there though- it can be consuming.
I used to be addicted to my cell phone- now I hardly use it. I am actually wondering why I even have it sometimes. I can’t imagine watching that much tv!!
Mark! You forgot CATS!
I take at least three breaks during the day ( since I am home all day lucky me) to play with my cat I make sure she is up and moving we play a game of “tag” she will chase me paw at my leg then I will chase her and rough her up a bit… I guess I do not have an ordinary cat though she is sort of a CatDog- she actually hates other cats and prefers dogs.. also cats can be trained to high five, fetch,etc
I’ve always been a dog person, never understood ppl that have cats.
Then one day some homeless, malnourished kitten showed up at my door as I was ready to leave. I let it in, threw some food and water on hte floor and left the house.
When I came back he was curled up and asleep on my couch.
Needless to say, he never left, he decided to stay in a household with 4 dogs…odd little cat. He now weighs 15 lbs and listens like a dog, even speaks on command, what an animal!
So, ad primal adherents, we’re supposed to have sex and wear Vibrams? That’s impossible. Everyone knows that Vibrams are the best form of birth control since those plastic-framed glasses of the 80′s.
I disagree. Hubby looks super sexy in his Vibrams….
I think you’re wearing them wrong . . .
Today I had to work at a supermarket where I have never been before, in a town I don’t know well. I looked at a map before I left and tried to find it without my navigation system. Worked.
Your articles have a great way of inspiring and I’m applying some of the points on that list already, including the act of commenting here. I’ve been reading your blog for almost a year now and yet, this is my first post. Thank you Mark Sisson.
Great post! I’ve been trying to watch TV less and play around with my 2 yo twins more. Has anyone seen the movie “Babies”? http://focusfeatures.com/babies
I highly recommend this movie, shows the first year of life of four different babies in Namibia, Tokyo, San Francisco, and Mongolia. The babies in Africa and Mongolia had no media for entertainment and they seemed to me to be the happiest. They watched insects and played games with other family members outside. Very primal indeed!
Amen to all of that! Thanks, Mark, for the excellent post! 3 months ago (before even going primal) I quit Facebook and it is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made – I have TIME, enormous amounts of TIME now on my hands, to play with my son, to sit outside under the trees in the sunshine, watching our backyard chickens, and just existing – I have rediscovered the joy of talking & connecting face to face with friends instead of relying on social networking to get it done. I realized that at the end of my days, I want to say I have lived and participated in Life, not just watched it or read about it online.
Great Article, as always!
I just took up a new instrument myself and I’m loving it, although I should practice more.
One other suggestion — you-pick farms!!! If you want to do more than just shop at the farmer’s market but you can’t fully commit to a garden, go to a you pick farm and pick it yourself. Picking your own berries in the hot sun is pretty primal.
There are a lot more you-picks than you think, and they do more than just a few pumpkin hayrides. Every farm I’ve gone has its own little farmer’s market store with local veggies.
My friends and I frequently play board games or other interactive games. I definitely prefer spending time with people over watching TV. I actually rarely watch TV any more. I only watch 2 or 3 shows regularly and that’s only if I can get them off Netflix or Hulu.
Same here: Have you played Quelf makes for good blackmail photos of friends
So here I am commenting to the blog. The timing is optimal. The whole family actually turned off the TV last night and went to look at the approaching storm (desperately needed in dought-stricken Texas). We ended up locking ourselves out the house, but were able to eventually get back in. But during the time when we were out, it was great and my son and I set up a date for this evening to play chess.
This is really an MDA ‘all time high’. Especially though this is cind of what I’ve been practicing during the 30 day challange.
I love this blog post. It lines up with a book I just finished “WellBeing” by Tom Rath. Pretty much, we need to engage with other human beings. period.
I can remember back in the 60′s as a child when we wanted to watch TV, we had to turn it on 10 minutes early so it would have the chance to “warm up” and have a good picture. We only turned it on when a particular show was on. Seems like these days, both internet and TV are “always on”. I’ll admit an addiction to the History Channel though…
Stop using porn. Have real sex instead… Easier said than done for some…
In the absence of sex, I’d vote for abstinence anyday!
Great post, but why read fiction when you could be telling stories!
But obviously, there’s only a few people in a tribe with that kind of creative talent.
All the standard Groks just bulls**t unconvincingly about the size of that boar they once killed with their bare hands… You know who you are…
What a great post – and great comments! I’m going to start doing some of these suggestions right now. And I had what Oprah would call an “ah-ha” moment. If you’re regularly interacting with and getting along with your neighbors – in a face-to-face kinda way, rather than via phone or Facebook! – you’re WAY less likely to become one of those “you kids get off my grass” kind of cantankerous elders (or young’uns!). It’s the isolation that breeds the hostility, seems to me. We just aren’t meant to be holed up in our caves with our TVs…
I used to forge steel. I don’t think it counts as primal, per say. But it sure is one of the most primal feelings I have ever had. You heat up a peice of steel until its red or white hot and then pound it with a hammer, sparks fling everywhere, sweat beading down your face as the heat blasts your skin. Man, I need to make the time to do that again.
It’s crazy how hobbies go out the window once you become an adult.
Wow. This is such a fantastic post…and couldn’t have come at a better time. I guess a lot of people have commented similarly. I’ve always been a great couch potato, and it’s just gotten worse since I’ve gotten to college.
Since I don’t really like the direction my life’s heading in (mostly due to laziness and complacency on my part) I’ve started becoming more active in all the different aspects of my life. I’ve taken up learning a new language, improving my abilities on the guitar and harmonica, as well as making myself spend more time writing. I’ve been trying to be more active physically, too. Not just ‘working out,’ mind you, but just getting outside and moving around during the day and seeing things.
It’s hard, but I figure it’ll be worth it if I can look back years down the road and be satisfied that I made myself develop an ‘action habit,’ so to speak.
This is what we need more of: our own realities. Thanks again, Mark, for steering us in the right direction!
You make me glad I quite watching TV 14 years ago! Yep, we rent the occasional movie, but other than the ‘net (and obviously here I am), we entertain ourselves. So bravo!
I grew up in a household with no TV. It was awesome (even though then I thought it was so uncool). We played games – board games, all kinds of card games, etc., especially during the winter. We interacted, debated, and in general bonded and had fun. I had three younger brothers for whom I would write plays and then we would act them out for mom and dad. Most of our downtime was in the winter because we were self-sufficient, growing all our own food and hunting for our meat. We made our own maple syrup. All of this wasn’t necessarily fun then, but looking back I’m so glad I grew up as I did because now I have a whole lot of skills a ton of other people don’t (which makes me less of a victim should the world end someday). I think Grok’s fun may have had lessons to it – races to keep bodies primed for the hunt, games to keep the mind sharp, and so on. Just about anything can be “fun” if you make it so!
Wow that is so unusual and awesome. I just think of the things I could have done in my childhood without tv , probably would have learned to sew, learned another language fluently perhaps, etc..
But whenever my Mom tried to restrict tv we would scream and holler
I’m so glad I deleted my Facebook!
I like the blog one, I very rarely leave comments or reply to comments of others. Maybe I’ll start leaving more.
Also I’ve been thinking about going to a farmers market for my vege. Will start doing that too!
I laughed at the last one, and joked, ” what if it’s ‘primal porn’”? Then thought I better not search that because it might be rather disgusting! Ahahahaha.
Good God I hate Facebook. People may think me the wierdest person on campus, but I just hate it so much! They should add a feature where you can not only add your friends but also add ‘enemies’ and write horrible stuff. As if it needed more stress inducing properties, haha!
Great stuff, everyone! I read through all of the comments.
This is one of the areas I’m struggling with myself.
I just order 4 functional anatomy books to start reading real books, not ebooks nor mere blogs. I’m a personal trainer, to specify. Doing this helps me eliminate a lot of computer time.
Another thing I’ve been doing is a lot of networking. I have 4-5 networking events coming up and I have been meeting a bunch of people in person through Facebook. That has helped me increase my network with great people. So I can spend great time with more people in person.
I also love fishing, but unfortunately haven’t done a lot of it. Walking in nature and exploring it is definitely another great thing to do.
I also recommend people to volunteer for non-profit organizations. I’m currently involved only with Toastmasters Organization, but I want to find another one that has environment and health in their best interest.
With my social network growing, I’m going to plan a lot of meetings to discuss training, nutrition, and lifestyle. I’m also going to hold board, card, and sport games at my place or elsewhere to be more active with friends.
Universally, all groups made work into entertainment. From barn raisings, quilting bees, community dances, they all featured physical work, teamwork, elaborate cooking and shared meals, socialization, and they were multigenerational.
So my .02 is to contribute to community needs such as animal shelter volunteering, coaching people searching for jobs, mentoring students, volunteering to do house repairs for disabled and elderly folks, visiting those whose social needs aren’t being met (unable to drive or use public transportation, those who are shunned/ostracized), and putting your great health to work (the physical work helps others as it keeps you strong and flexible). The artificial creation of work via gyms and “workouts” is insanity in a world that’s crumbling due to a lack of workers.
Thank you!
And I’ll add “youth sports” to your last sentence.
How many people spend all their “free” time shuffling their kids back and forth from this game to that practice. They never see each other, never eat at home, don’t have time to help anyone else.
TV off… check.
Systematic purge of mindless facebook content…check.
Dog… check and check.
Real sex… check.
I wish I could get more up-and-about time. I’m in college and a commuter, so I spend tons of time in the car, on the computer and sitting at a desk (not all three at once… yikes!) working on armloads of homework every day and it won’t be stopping any time soon. I’m working on cutting down my internet use to just emails, homework, and blogs.
Yeah, I have not had a dog in many years. I am planning to adopt one in Fall/Winter 2012.
I am just researching the breeds now. I really like dachshunds but I am still contemplating which breed will be best for me.
You are awesome for this “More Dexter, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad”. My three favorite shows in one blog, epic!
We don’t have a TV. We’re not some weirdos, though! Sometimes we watch some interesting stuff on the laptop. But just some minutes ago, my husband said: We have so much to do and so many interests and so many interesting books and a garden and two kids and friends and so on and so on – I have no idea how to fit in watching TV, too!
I did not know there were Paleo meet-up groups! I was just wishing I knew people in the area who did Paleo/Primal (I have friends on it, but all out of state). Thank you for the links!! =)
Well, I don’t have a tv, and my home computer has been off, since… a long ago. How good is that!
Still sitting 7 hours a day is too much, but at least at home I can enjoy real communication with my family.
What I do most of the time, except for cooking is just playing with, dancining, or reading to my 3yo son.
I wish I was more physically active though.
Some great suggestions. And as I read it, I could not help but reflect on the current issue of childhood obesity. We got sent out to run and play all day all summer, or into the evening when school was in session. That does not happen any more for a variety of reasons, and it is showing in the lack of fitness and excess weight of our kids. It is also likely to manifest itself in the creativity they exhibit — we had to use our imaginations to keep ourselves entertained. Today so many kids don’t. They just flip on a gadget. Worse yet, if kids don’t develop an appreciation of nature and our environment, they aren’t likely to be motivated to preserve and protect it. See the book “Last Child In The Woods.”