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The Fuming Fuji Does Not Give a Flying Finger Food

Posted By Worker Bee On October 1, 2007 @ 4:14 pm In Big Agra,Carbs,Health,Humor,Marketing,Nutrition,Raising Healthy Children | 5 Comments

Dragging their buns far behind the rest of the junk food giants in the compliance arena, Burger King is introducing a crisp first strike on the PR front with “the Fry Pod”, apple slices cut to look like fries, packaged in a traditional BK sleeve.

In a nod to Stanford’s recent study [7] that food packaging not only influences kids’ preferences but makes them favor the flavor, it seems this one is primed for marketers to trot out in the “we’re doing the right thing” arena, as ValleyWag reports here. [8] Wash apples in lemon juice, make ‘em dead-ringers for the spuds and who can fault the logic that marketers aren’t being responsive? Brandwashing [9] to present healthier fare? Hmn. Slick.

Maybe the novelty of it all will capture some market share, so that alone is worthy of applause…After all, BK operates more than 11,200 restaurants in all 50 states and 69 countries and territories, so if clever marketing catches on this could be big…

Editor’s note: the above content is reprinted with permission from our partner-in-prevention, Amy at Shaping Youth [10]. Don’t miss this child advocacy blog that catches all the clever tricks of Big Agra, the media, and industries that influence youth. From toys to MTV to teens, nothing gets by Amy and Shaping Youth! And now, a word from the Fuming Fuji…

It is with mixed emotions that the Fuji assesses the new Fry Pod of Apple Fingerlingalings. Aside from the obvious problem (apple augmentation), Fuji declares that it is high time to call a scepter a scepter: Burger King clearly has a disturbing finger fetish. French fries are not enough; the Big Burger will not stop until everything is shaped like a finger and available in a convenient car cupholder container.

Fuji is concerned that the self-appointed fast food nobility’s Hooked on Fingers marketing will make children forget what actual chicken and apples and other real foods are shaped like. (We will overlook the audacity of using the term “food” in conjunction with said offerings.) Admittedly, Fuji cannot begin to understand the kinks of royalty, because Fuji does not wear a crown, which surely must be very heavy. Fuji prefers standard-issue Fumology, which allows for the use of the Royal We without the annoying weight of a medieval gold hat. Also, Fuji is not inbred, which is more than we can say for Burger King’s…menu. Additionally, 9 out of 10 surveys taken by the Fuming Fuji have concluded that Burger King is gross. This is statistical significance of the sort not seen since the Fuming Fuji surveyed the numerous new flavor offerings from Eggo [11], only to find that every single one – from Strawberry Waffull to Chocolate Chip to Flip Flops (waffle of choice in 2004) – is confusing to children and apples alike. Looking at the ingredients panel, it would appear that each carbohydrate concoction contained many ingredients, when in fact, Eggos are made of only two things: corn [12] and chemicals! Also, they are ugly and stupidly spelled, and in this global economy we simply cannot afford to be instilling bad taste in our children.

In conclusion, the Fuming Fuji suspects that Burger King will be royally miffed to learn that someone else thought of the ultimate finger fried creation: meat. on. a. stick. fried. in. french. fries. Guard thy throne, Burger Kink.

- link [13] from reader Sonagi

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[7] Stanford’s recent study: http://med.stanford.edu/mcr/2007/fast-food-0808.html

[8] here.: http://valleywag.com/tech/junk-food/care-for-a-frypod-with-that-shake-300019.php

[9] Brandwashing: http://www.shapingyouth.org/blog/?p=212

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[11] Eggo: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/fume/

[12] corn: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/king-corn/

[13] link: http://www.lastappetite.com/french-fry-coated-hotdog/

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