Marks Daily Apple
Serving up health and fitness insights (daily, of course) with a side of irreverence.
3 Jul

10 Great Alli Leaks, Oops, Links

So we’re beating a dead llama here, but it’s just flabbergasting that the newest weight-loss gimmick, alli, has made it so far. Maybe I’m just grumpy today. This pill is a) all but ineffective, b) dangerous, c) embarrassing, d) expensive, and e) a retread of an old drug nobody wanted. As you may well know, the blogosphere is having a lot of tawdry fun with this. Here are the best (and – relatively – cleanest) links.

10. Orwellian

Is this our world?

9. GSK Asks You: “Are You Losing It?”

GlaxoSmithKline wants to know if you are losing it. Hmm. This appears to be a case of psychological projection. Glaxo, call us. We know a great therapist.

8. The Gift That Keeps on Giving

After ruining your social life, thrashing your digestive tract, and depleting critical vitamins from your body, alli increases your risk of colon cancer. Just ‘cuz.

7. But, But…It Comes with a Shiny Book!

Would you really want this on your coffee table?

alli

6. “It’s Gonna Take Work on Your Part Too.”

Because our part doesn’t work.

5. In Case You Needed Convincing, the FDA Really Does Not Give a…

But, boy oh boy, you sure will. Do not eat any fat if you take alli (k. d. lang must be excited about GSK’s super-trendy capitalization choice). Avoiding fat is a smart way to get diabetes and depression, but at least you won’t have any trouble with regularity. The results of fat + alli = not pretty. Oh, and alli depletes vitamins from your body. So just like the sailors of yesteryear, you too can experience the joys of rickets. And we can all agree there’s nothing better than experiencing history first-hand.

4. Why Did They Have to Ruin Pizza Forever?

Thanks, Glaxo. Thanks a lot. “You’re probably curious about what alli does in your body.” Why would you draw a pizza comparison to your disgusting drug? What did pizza ever do to you? That’s just rude.

3. So You Want to Take Alli?

Terrific! You’ll just need to diet, exercise, get healthy, and then wait six months. You’ll (maybe) lose five whoppin’ pounds beyond what all that regular exercising and dieting would yield you after six months. People, those five whole pounds will only cost you $360 bucks, your health, and your dignity, so what’s not to love? Come on, you wanted a new wardrobe anyway.

2. When Your Drug Is a Bust…Slap a New Name on It!

Alli is just a lower dosage of xenical (generic orlistat). This weight loss drug bombed as an Rx – apparently people got sick of having to keep an extra pair of dark clothing on hand. Babies.

1. With Allis Like This, Who Needs Enemas?

The Bitter Pill Award goes to Alli, your partner in oily spotting. The incredible thing is that GSK is totally upfront about how terrible alli is…and they’re still selling it. What a world.

bitterpill

Graphic: Bitter Pill Awards TM

Further reading:

Here’s a tip: eat less

We need more fat, not less!

What to eat in a day

Simple, fast weight loss tips for all you busy bees

Eating healthy when you’re pinching pennies

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You want comments? We got comments:

Imagine you’re George Clooney. Take a moment to admire your grooming and wit. Okay, now imagine someone walks up to you and asks, “What’s your name?” You say, “I’m George Clooney.” Or maybe you say, “I’m the Clooninator!” You don’t say “I’m George of George Clooney Sells Movies Blog” and you certainly don’t say, “I’m Clooney Weight Loss Plan”. So while spam is technically meat, it ain’t anywhere near Primal. Please nickname yourself something your friends would call you.

  1. Well put! What a world indeed that purchases such a “crappy” drug!

    jane wrote on August 15th, 2007
  2. go to a 2 hr meeting in tight dress pant and an alli treatment occur. or take an exam and have explosive diarrhea in your pant, your choice

    harvey wrote on December 15th, 2007
  3. Hi, well I tried the Alli pills and I will not continue! I found a good gum that stops me feeling hungry from a company called http://www.good-diets.com its cheap and I have lost 55Lb now, I wont go back to the Alli pills due to the toilet problems.

    Mel wrote on October 29th, 2008
  4. Weird, I had no issues on Alli at all. I ate fat in each meal, and..nope, can’t say there was leakage of any sort.

    I did stop taking them after just the first bottle, because well..it did seem a bit stupid to me. Most of the time, I found I wasn’t even eating enough fat to justify taking the pill (20g+) So, I had to wonder if just maybe, this wasn’t designed for those of us looking to drop only 5-10 pounds.

    I did drop it, but not with any pills, just old fashioned calorie restriction and exercise until it dropped off, then intermittent fasting/generally eating in a specific calorie range most of the time.

    Rachel wrote on February 15th, 2009
  5. My sister asked me to check this new diet pill available in EU called Alli. On they’re website it says that you musn’t eat over 20g of fat a day while you’re taking it! Why the hell would you take it if you’re only eating 20g of fat anyway!! What a load of nonsense.

    Ciara wrote on May 6th, 2009

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