It’s been quite a day for the beverage industry here at the MDA. Is an Annoying Drink Award in the works? Who can say?
scam trend is Borba, the alleged wrinkle-preventing, skin-clarifying, change-your-life drink. Aside from the fact that I’m not about to drink something that’s actually pastel in color, the science is really questionable.
The better bet for good skin is a daily moisturizer, a good supplement routine, nutritious foods high in good fats, and judicious sun exposure. Of course, cigarettes, excessive drinking, high levels of stress and junk food are obvious things to avoid.
Borba may be really pretty, but there must be a reason I keep calling it Bogus by mistake. You can read up on the questionable science here.
Borba comes in pastel blue and pink, too. What, no mauve?
Worker Bees’ Daily Bites
1) Calm Cows
It’s all over the news: Scientists have invented a cow that may be immune to mad cow disease. Yes, that’s right – a whole cow. Not a drug, or a food, or a shot, but an actual breed of cow that is immune to getting a disease caused by…oh yeah: irresponsible, filthy factory food production. Of course, since our government still insists there is absolutely no cause to worry about killer burgers, we suppose this techie fix is just for kicks – you know, just in case. Hey, it’s always good to have an extra species of bovine on the shelf for those rainy day public health disasters. Why mop the slimy slaughterhouse floor when you can just make a new cow that won’t be affected by said slime? Hooray, technology!
If you’re interested in the dark underbelly of the mad cow conspiracy (we’re staying neutral for now…but boy, are they persuasive), visit our favorite little conspiracy site maintained by a gaggle of rogue journalists who probably eat tofu and have really messy hair. If you’re interested in the government’s take, visit the FDA. If you haven’t seen the news piece, here’s the clickativity. And we promise, no more cow pictures for a while.
Beneath the calm exterior…
2) Yeah, yeah, have a drink…
Yet another study reveals that one or two drinks a day may not be so bad for the heart – and now, it appears, for the old blood pressure. This is a debate that will probably never go away, and the fact that this large-scale (11,000: pretty good) survey (kind of lame by scientific standards) found a glass or two of Grandpa’s cough syrup is good for middle-aged men isn’t the worst news on earth, now is it? Of course, women should stick to one drink (in general).
However, keep in mind that:
a) A little sip is good, a little more is bad. Anything more than one or two drinks and you’re in the boiling-point blood pressure range, and,
b) while beer may – may – help raise good cholesterol a bump or two, so will a good multivitamin, a few weekly servings of lean fish, and daily use of olive oil or Smart Butter. We’re just sayin’.
Although, this does look good…
The crafty folks at Coke have invented yet another canned liquid. We’re a little disappointed that it doesn’t come in lime, vanilla, cherry, cherry vanilla, cherry lime vanilla, or even blue. Oh, well.
The soft drink, Enviga, does play into the new craze for “healthy” soda alternatives full of energizing ingredients and enough caffeine to deplete the Costa Rican coffee fields for the next decade. Calorie Lab has a hilarious and thought-provoking analysis of this new drink. (That sounds a lot like a natural enhancement drug. Ahem.)
Calorie Lab is right: if Coke really cares about our health by offering a supposedly negative calorie beverage, why continue to sell regular old Coke in all its candy-machine varieties at all?
Here’s why: by offering (snicker) Enviga, Coke is admitting they’re aware of the terrible health consequences of drinking Coke. They’re worried and they’re scrambling to offer an alternative for all the customers they know they’re going to lose in 2007. Sugar is going to be the health issue this year. In fact, you can check out Mark’s excellent article on sugar over at model/volleyball pro Gabrielle Reece’s site. Here’s the clickativity.
We’ll be the first to say it: sugar is the new trans fat.
Starbucks is getting rid of trans fat six months before anyone is supposed to. That’s a good thing, considering their apple fritter alone contains enough trans fat to put a cow down. Good job, ubiquitous coffee house! Here’s hoping more food and bev providers follow suit.
The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with pita chips.
But Fuming Fuji, you ask, aren’t pita chips healthy?
The Fuming Fuji says no!
The claim: The Fuming Fuji was blinded by “natural” and “wholesome” and “whole-grain”. Also, by a lovely Granny Smith strolling past.
The catch: Lies, all lies. Pita chips are not healthy because they are greasy, salty, and fried. It does not matter that pita is a nice word which is very fun to spell.
The comeback: That’s it? That’s your best? Come on, Fuji – pita chips have to be healthier than nachos.
The conclusion: People, for the last time: A chip is a chip is a chip, except Pentium, which is admittedly low-fat. The Fuming Fuji does not care to comment. EVEN if a chip is not made with trans fat and EVEN if a chip is made from nice grains and EVEN if a chip is baked instead of fried, the chip is still a chip! It is still a processed food made with the use of a stamp.
The catchphrase: For pita’s sake!
Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji.
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